How To Cope With Feeling Like You’re “Not Enough” When You Meet Your Birth Parents

When you have finally found your birth parents or other birth family and it’s coming time to meet them, you may be starting to have a lot of emotions starting to flow over you. You may be excited, nervous, joyful, scared, and probably a combination of some others. You are probably wondering if they will like you or if they will accept you for who you are. When you meet your birth parents you might be thinking, “Will I be enough for them?”

As an adoptee, let me just tell you one thing, these feelings and questions are all normal. I can pretty much guarantee that all adoptees go through them at the end of their search. And trust me, I’ve talked to many birth parents and they are wondering and feeling the same things that you’re feeling. 

As an adoptee, you might think that because you were placed for adoption, that now because you found your birth family, they will want you now. And that’s pretty darn likely, but sadly, it’s not always the case. Every reunion will be different. You can only prepare yourself for what will happen. But don’t let it stop you from reaching out. This is your journey.

It’s so important to surround yourself with those that love you before you meet your birth parents. My biggest supporters were my mom, my sister (who was also adopted), my husband, and my kids. They were the ones who kept me from thinking negative thoughts. They were always encouraging positive feelings. Which was particularly helpful when things were hard.

Let me just tell you now, don’t think negatively. Don’t put those thoughts in your head because it will only make you have doubts on your journey. So stay positive, and keep the faith up. Tell yourself that you are enough no matter what happens. Stay true to yourself, and they will love you!